[Dysphagia] "Familiarity breeds contempt"

[connorswa at ph.upmc.edu (Connors, William A)]

JBN  (just be nice)

-----Original Message-----
From: Buckie,Marcia [mailto:mbuckie@dmc.org]
Sent: Monday, June 07, 2004 2:48 PM
To: Pressman, Hilda; HAL9600@aol.com; connorswa@ph.upmc.edu;
CFR42@aol.com; dysphagia@b9.com
Subject: RE: [Dysphagia] "Familiarity breeds contempt"


I have to agree here. Periodiocally,  this listserv has had to revisit this
topic of how questions are answered, opinions exchanged, etc.  That is one
of the pitfalls of forums like this, although  I don't think it's enough to
not have the forums, as the benefits far outweight the downfalls.  
 
To be perfectly honest, there have been times when a new clinician (new to
dysphagia practice or this listserve) asks a question that reveals their
lack of experience or a hole in the understanding of the big picture, and I
have to wince. Then, when they recieve a response that is "percieved' as
scathing, they will, as most people with any type of ego, get defensive or
not return to seek more information. Sure, in a perfect world, everyone
would have thick enough skin to keep coming back no matter how they are
responded to.
 
What  I find to be true is this: you may have a message/info that you want
to convey because it is of the utmost importance to appropriate, effective,
ethical patient care. However, sometimes the message itself  can get lost if
the manner of delivery is lacking in diplomacy or if the tone is pejorative
or condescending.  I find this to be true when interacting with people from
nursing assistants to physicians.  So, even if it is frustrating to have to
repeat things over and over again, and have people argue or question you, if
the message is important enough, you will continue to deliver it.
 
marcia

	-----Original Message----- 
	From: dysphagia-bounces@b9.com on behalf of Pressman, Hilda 
	Sent: Mon 6/7/2004 11:32 AM 
	To: 'HAL9600@aol.com'; connorswa@ph.upmc.edu; CFR42@aol.com;
dysphagia@b9.com 
	Cc: 
	Subject: RE: [Dysphagia] "Familiarity breeds contempt"
	
	

	I'm not sure what began this thread but I would like to mention that
it is
	also critical that clinicians of all levels of experience feel free
to ask
	questions.  Being supportive of the individual with limited
experience or
	the clinician functioning without any support is very important.
When
	things get testy people are hesitant to become involved.  Hilda
Pressman
	
	-----Original Message-----
	From: HAL9600@aol.com [mailto:HAL9600@aol.com]
	Sent: Sunday, June 06, 2004 5:43 PM
	To: connorswa@ph.upmc.edu; CFR42@aol.com; dysphagia@b9.com
	Subject: Re: [Dysphagia] "Familiarity breeds contempt"
	
	
	In a message dated 6/6/04 1:45:16 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
	connorswa@ph.upmc.edu writes:
	
	<< I'm not sure what has actually happened here but.....First of
all,
	playing
	 devil's advocate is an excellent way to learn and problem solve.
	Therefore,
	 one should be aware of the difference between that and attacking
behavior.
	 Secondly, any person who provides the services to patients
definitely
	should
	 have sufficient interviewing and counseling skills to avoid
personalizing
	 their part of the communicative interaction.  Thirdly, get a
tougher skin;
	 get over it.  Focus on the content, not the manner. 
	  >>
	If you read back a bit in the posts you'll get the reason for my
post.  I
	agree with socratic method but I don't think that was the case here.

	
	As far as focusing on content, rather than the manner, an admirable
ability
	but research on this particular subject--over 40 years of it--is
clear and
	unequivocal.  We humans can't manage it.  How we communicate simply
matters
	more
	than the content to us. 
	
	Professionals aren't exempt.  Arguably, they should be, but I
wouldn't make
	that argument.  It seems to me that professional skills ought to
include the
	
	extra it requires to communicate without saying or doing things that
will
	predictably evoke personal responses.  That skill set is certainly
required
	when we
	communicate with patients, so why would we not apply it to
professional
	communication as well.  Communication that fails in this regard, it
seems to
	me, is
	careless, undisciplined...unprofessional.
	
	Why should we be satisfied with less?  Does the content matter more
than the
	
	relationships?
	
	Gerry Brooks
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